Parents

She used to think that they were so great and she is proud to call them her parents. Nevertheless, all this could be changed within a single day. She is thinks that her parents now is a disgrace, why?

Parents are supposed to bring up a child esteem, isn't it? Instead of bringing up their self esteem, putting them down and making their self confidence plummet to the bottom is pure evil.

Now, all she could think of is how much she wish that she had never existed so that she wouldn't have to have such low self esteem. She once cared dearly for them, now she wishes for nothing else to do with them.

Thoughts kept in her heart.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't let you off from her mind. She tried, but to not avail. There's not a single day hat gone past with her not thinking about you. You took up most of her mind and heart such that there was none left for anything else. She missed you but she couldn't say it out for fear of weird stares given by her surrounding people.

She's hurting on the inside but she wouldn't want to admit it. It's destroying her trying to act normal trying not to let her real emotions show. No one bothered to ask if she's okay and trying to find out the truth behind a wall of lies. A pillar of support that she wanted might not be present anytime soon. Trying to wait for its arrival yet the fear of not being able to wait any longer sends her over the edge.

They say that family would be there for you no matter what happens. Were they there for her when she needed them the most? No. How could she rely on someone that was not there for more than half of her current life? She can't find the need to trust them not knowing if they would be gone again. Maybe they would say that she's stubborn for not wanting to rely on them and would only do her way but could she be blamed when all her family does is to put her down when she needs to be put up with.

All she really wonders is that will there be anyone to realize that she's gone when only her empty shell is left behind? To her, family is nothing but a name for people who is supposedly to care for her. Will her definition of family change over the time or would it stay the same? No one would know unless she tells them herself. Would they be told of what's going on in her mind day in day out or still be oblivious to every single thing about her? It's still a mystery unknown till the very day she opens up.

Giving up, letting go, regrets.

Maybe she should've given up on you a long time ago. Sadly, she didn't. She shouldn't have held on to that faith that all would be well in the end. She knew how ugly the ending would be yet not once did she felt like giving up.

With her make up smudged and tears running down her face, she would still smile and continue to fight. Her face is a mess but all she can do is clean it up before you see it. She should've known that you weren't good for her but all she persisted.

Maybe she wouldn't be in this position now where she needs to let go of you but has trouble doing so. If only she had listen to her friend, she would've let go of you and wouldn't be this hurt right now. All she wish is to turn back time and heed her advice and let you go.

The sweet talk? The empty promises made? They brought her up only to send her crashing to the ground again. Why did you have to do this to her. Hurt badly, she could only say sorry to you for being hurt when all she wants is a sincere apology and never repeating it again but you didn't.

Don't, don't be fooled by this façade of his where he seems so nice. Stop listening to all his sweet talk, enough is enough for her. She doesn't deserve nights where she cries herself to sleep because of you and you don't deserve a tear she shed for you. She should let go of you, it's time for her to spread her wings and fly.